Monday, October 13, 2008

Blog Wars!

Anything better than two faceless names arguing over the Internet about something that means absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of life, much less sports?
Yes. Many, many things are much better.
But I feel like I am walking on clouds right now. Skipping in fact. Very merrily.
The best Thunder blog - nay, best NBA - nay!, best blog PERIOD on the Internet has plugged my dear little project. I've estimated that five, maybe six people read the incoherent crap I write on here, but evidently one of them is Internet pretend-celebrity, Claymate from super-blog "Bend It Like Bennett." (I mean, he did get interviewed by And One. Oh baby. OH Baby! OH BABY!) If there was ever a true wordsmith that could encapsulate everything I've ever wanted to be - a true scribe that can zing anything, and I mean anything - Mr. Mate (if that is your real name...) is that person. He's bitter, angry, vulgar, crude and mouthy and that's why he's great. He'll say it and say it in your face - the elderly, women and children included.
Evidently, one of my harmless little digs at the City of Bitterness and Sorrow got to the great Clay. Enough so for him to pen a nice 500 word feature about it. Which was incredibly kind of him - my readership probably doubled! And with it probably came some of his devoted Seattle readers. Awesome. And by the way, people still use the Internet catchphrase, "Wow, friend, just wow"? Are people still saying "Raise the roof" and "that's bad" when something's actually good? And we're friends? I wasn't aware. I eagerly await your Facebook friend request to make it official, guy.
Anyway, to recap the situation: I said I would like to buy a No. 40 Shawn Kemp Thunder jersey or a No. 20 Gary Payton uni. Evidently, this touched a nerve with Mr. Mate. Maybe he didn't get "it." That's ok though, "jokes" can be hard to "get." And Clay's humor on his award-winning blog is so sharp it could cut iron, I can see why it would be tough to "get" something as clear and obvious a joke as I wrote. Maybe if I just did neato photoshop pictures of every little thing, it could bring this bad boy up another notch and then Clay would "get" "it".
Here's how Clay quoted me on the matter:
“I've told friends I'm getting a custom Thunder Gary Payton #20 jersey or a Rain Man, Shawn Kemp #40 uni, but the price is pretty hefty. Maybe I could get a discount if I just got a Detlef Schrempf #11. Just one thing to make sure of: Do not, I repeat, DO NOT get a custom jersey with your name on the back. There is nothing worse than some fat guy sitting in Loud City with a No. 35 jersey with "Stravinski" strapped across the back of it. News flash: You don't play for the team. Kevin Durant does - so wear his jersey."
Here's what I actually wrote:
"I've told friends I'm getting a custom Thunder Gary Payton #20 jersey or a Rain Man, Shawn Kemp #40 uni, but the price is pretty hefty. Maybe I could get a discount if I just got a Detlef Schrempf #11. Just one thing to make sure of: Do not, I repeat, DO NOT get a custom jersey with your name on the back. There is nothing worse than some fat guy sitting in Loud City with a No. 35 jersey with "Stravinski" strapped across the back of it. News flash: You don't play for the team. Kevin Durant does - so wear his jersey. Or get a throwback like me and support our rich history (zing)."
Maybe Clay lost interest in my story and couldn't make it through. I'm sure the new Oklahoman will be to his liking since the stories are shorter and there's more pictures. Maybe soon Clay, they'll have a pop-up newspaper for you to read! Wouldn't that be cool?
But you see what I did there with that last little line? I obviously pointed out that getting the Kemp or Payton jersey was you know, a joke, and just a little dig at our very, very, bitter friends from the Northwest. Just to be funny, right? Kind of like what Clay has done with his whole outfit.
Actually, I'm betting he got the zing but conveniently chose not to include that line in his post because it really would've nixed his little diddy. Times must be tough at BiLB now that Clay is having to resort to calling out other lowly blogs and ridicule those just excited to have a pro sports team. I guess you can only burn the team name, colors, logo, Darnell Mayberry and Berry Tramel so many times before you have to move on to bigger and better things. Or in this case, smaller and worse things.
Look, I've grown very tired of everyone jabbing OKC at every turn over the whole team thing. Like I've said, get over it - it's done and time to move on. But some people have trouble with it. Some email Bill Simmons constantly and whine about it. Some refuse to call the Thunder, "Thunder." Some make fun of the name, the colors, the jerseys, the city and everything else associated with the team. Or some make a low-brow blog dedicated to covering all the aforementioned areas. Yeah, Clay. That's you.
This will be all I'll say on the subject seeing as Clay is much more clever and much more witty than I and will likely embarrass me with his next post with some awesome photoshopped picture of me. And Lord knows I don't want to become the Jerry Seinfeld to Clay's Sally Weaver - just giving him more and more material to illustrate how I'm the devil.

6 comments:

Joe said...

I saw that little snipet on Bend it... I wondered if you did :O)

Nice work on the blog.

Anonymous said...

To be honest, Bend it reads as light hearted satire. It is the more bitter people that are commenting that is depressing. BilB points out valid complaints and issues but too many people revert to "Hur hurr Okies suck". I write this as someone completely impartial living in england. keep up the good work

Dan said...

If you're waiting for people to just "get over it" and move on - don't. It's never going to happen. The Sonics were an important franchise to a lot of people in Seattle. Getting ripped is part of being a major league city, enjoy it. We in Seattle have been getting drilled for more than 30 years over the Seahawks and Mariners.

Anonymous said...

Thunderworld = Thundersucks!

Bend it like Bennett is the best Thunderblog on the internet. I bet the Bend it like Bennett blog lasts longer than the Dunder in OKC. LOL

Anonymous said...

Thunderworld, don't go after Bend it like Bennett. You can't win, he is witty and you are, well, a little slow. All you do is rehash box score, almost verbatim. Bend it like Bennett has real witty articles.

Don't start a war you can't win. Okies already look stupid by not being able to sell out home games and failing to will the Dunder to victory, you calling out Bend it like Bennett is yet another thing you okies can't even understand.

Thanks for trying, but there is a reason why Bend it like Bennett is the most popular blog on the Dunder and one of the most popular blogs covering the NBA. And that is sad, a joke blog for a real NBA basketball team is more popular than anything you okies can come up with.

Thunderworld = Thundersucks is right!

Oklahoma City Thunder Attendance said...

Thunderworld calling out Bend it Like Bennett is like Steve Urkel calling out Charles Oakley.

Don't start fights you cant win, chump. If you really want to pick on somebody, get your shotgun and go kill some more deer for fun.