Thursday, January 15, 2009

Hey Ross, for your information, I'm riding my horse downtown to send a telegram, thank you very much

As you know, I've lived in Oklahoma all 23 years of my life. I love this state. It's as much a part of me as my last name. So that's why this type of stuff kind of bothers me. In the Salt Lake City Tribune's gamer, written by Ross Siler, here's his lead (hat tip: Doug):
"Because there's nothing to do in Oklahoma City, the Jazz had no excuse for not showing up Wednesday night against the Thunder and suffering a 114-93 humiliation at the hands of the NBA's worst team."
So funny. I bet Ross had to pause and clean his computer screen because he probably spit his coffee all over it after he wrote it due to a wild burst of laughter.
Look, I've heard all the stereotypes and all the put-downs. I know people think we all live in tepees, hang our clothes outside to dry them, haven't discovered the "Internet" yet and the only things that ever happened here was a bombing in 1995 and the Dustbowl. I get it. But geez, trying to toss a little zinger out there in your lead is just unnecessary, especially when you live in SALT LAKE FREAKING CITY. It's not like this was a New York or Miami writer. This guy lives in a city famous for Mormons and snow. Ooooh. Ahhhh.

All the disrespect toward the team doesn't bother me one bit. They're 7-33. They better be disrespected. They brought it upon themselves. But enough about Oklahoma. And people laugh when we all made a big deal about getting professional basketball here. We wanted to change our image and we feel pro hoops can go a long way in helping that. But here's something I wonder: People often say, "There's nothing to do in Oklahoma City." Well, explain to me how much more there is to do in Chicago, San Antonio, Houston or Dallas? I've been to those cities. Spent a lot of time in a couple of them. What more is there to "do" there than here? Go to Navy Pier? Go to the Alamo? You really think residents are making weekly trips to the Sears Tower? Oh, in Dallas they have a movie theater. What's that? Oklahoma City has one too? Oklahoma City has 15?!?

Seriously, someone explain how one of those so-called big cities are so much different than OKC. Sure, they may have an underground live music scene or something, but what normal person really wants to make their way down to some gross coffee shop to hear some band called Two Trips to Hell sing their emo hearts out and make you want stick your face in the coffee grinder.

From my various trips to big towns, the main differences from Oklahoma City are:

A. More traffic
B. More crime
C. More jerks
D. More expensive parking
E. In fact, no where to park
F. Higher gas prices
G. More expensive houses

Now don't get me wrong, I absolutely adore Chicago. I spent part of my honeymoon there. It's my favorite city. It has things Oklahoma City does not. Houston has some unreal qualities. San Antonio has a wonderful charm that OKC doesn't have. But these pot-shots at OKC are lame. This stuff about the only things to do are "read your Bible" and "take your lady on a horseback ride" are really ignorant. I've always said, if people knew what Oklahoma City was really like, they'd be packing their bags and moving here right away. So maybe I better shut up.


MartzMimic said...

Amen, Royce.

Anonymous said...

I know of one thing to do in OKC. Play professional basketball. The Jazz had the opportunity to do that (supposedly without distraction), and did not.